These links promise not to call you fat:
1. 11 points finds some strange fetishes with a nice shout out at #9 to my favorite turtle man (he'll likely make a Halloween appearance).
2. Kelly Oxford explains what her young daughter did at the mall. You'd think this was one of Mike's kids.
3. So there was a really long Red Sox-Angels baseball game last week that included a few rain delays. When this happens there are very few fans in the stands so a lot of what they say is more likely to be picked up by the microphones the networks use for crowd noise. This lead to a nice serenade that the Boston fans made to Kevin "Youk" Youkilis very late in the evening.
4. A writer/blogger for the Kansas City Star noted that Royals player Wilson Betemit should've "taken one for the team" and let himself be hit by a pitch. The Royals challenged him to give it a try. I'm pretty sure hitting coach/pitching machine operator Kevin Seitzer split a gut laughing so hard.
5. Fred Willard explains how he's documented his encounters with famous people.
6. Tina Fey hosted SNL last week and while I've never watched this show the satire of Pregnant In Heels is pretty good. (Here's a snippet of the real host which helps make this funny. You only need to watch it for like 15 seconds to get the idea.) If I had an ultrasound I'd totally want celebrities in it.
7. Also the Devil during Weekend Update was pretty good.
8. If you've ever seen the Family Circus comic strip then, well, I thought this was clever.
9. We'll finish with two Lamebooks. First, someone tries to bring back the dead.
10. Finally, this might be true now...
You know, you really can't ever go wrong with Biz Markie.