The Tuesday Ten for 5/31 - Slowing Down Links

These links promise not to juice to boost their home run totals.

The Thursday T(h)en - 5/26/11 - Non-Alliterative Links

These links promise never to call you Charty:

My Short Tribute To Oprah

When I was married my wife and I had numerous running jokes. One of them had to do with Oprah. My ex got a 2-year subscription to O magazine as a gift from her mother. Every month when it would arrive in the mail she would say, "We got this month's Oprah." And I'd say, "Who's on the cover?"

Erik Spoelstra's New Nickname And Other Stuff

Nearly as lame as writing a post of links is a notes post. So it's time for a notes post!

• Burt and I went to see Elvis Costello on Sunday, which was great, so we missed the Bulls-Heat game. After the concert we went to The Pony and were waiting to see the highlights. The short version of the highlights came on SportsCenter, "SportsCenter Right Now." They showed a few highlights then went to the post-game press conferences. I stopped paying rapt attention. Then at one point Burt said, "Heat Spokesman?" I looked at him with a giant question mark on my face. He said, "The Heat don't have anyone from the team talk instead they have a spokesman?" I said, "I don't think that's true. Are you sure it wasn't their coach? I think his name is something like Erik Spoelstra." He said, well, it could've been. Sure enough, when they showed the highlights later I pointed out Erik Spoelstra and he said that's who he was talking about. So from now on Erik Spoelstra will be referred to as "Heat Spokesman." That's not far from the truth.

• While at The Pony we saw that Absolut has added more flavored vodkas but they've apparently run out of flavor names and have started naming them after cities. We saw Absolut Brooklyn and Absolut Boston on the bar. Ricky the bartender told us Absolut Brooklyn was "Red Apple and Ginger" flavored while Absolut Boston is "Black Tea and Elderflower" flavored. Fortunately, the Birthday Girl from this post was at the bar with her boyfriend. We struck up a conversation and they also were curious about the flavors. After many jokes about how Absolut Boston probably tasted like assholes we tried them. Boston was bad. Brooklyn was better, not bad but not great, but neither were one I'd be buying anytime soon.

• The Birthday Girl and her boyfriend had both managed to lose their phones that day. She was very concerned because she apparently has some Fish app that seems similar to those virtual pet games or Farmville in that she's supposed to take care of her fish frequently or they'll die. Since she had no mobile phone she couldn't do it. Tampa the bouncer and I kept joking about it while making bad fish puns. For instance Tampa told her it was a good thing she was at the bar so she could drown her sorrows. And that maybe she would feel better if she heard her favorite tuna. I told her we didn't really mean to make fun of her we were just doing it for the halibut. I wished I had told her that if her fish had needed an operation she could have called a sturgeon.
  

• Whenever anyone says "It is what it is" I respond "That's always true."
  

• Did Illinois coach Bruce Weber really say that Joe Bertrand is the best dancer on the team? Is there some sort of team competition?

The Tuesday Ten for 5/17 - Chartable Links

These links promise not to throw the ball away multiple times in a game so as to allow 7 unearned runs.

The Tuesday Ten for 5/10 - Fat Links

These links promise not to call you fat:

The Tuesday Ten - Analogous Links

Today's links promise not to describe you using a bad analogy:

Favorite Tweets About Bin Laden's Death

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